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Thursday, March 4, 2010

Day 25 -- Day One As A Non-Smoker!! :)

Below is a little journal I did on the first day after I quit smoking. That's right!! You read correctly!


Sometime around 8pm, Sunday night (Jan 24th), I had my last cigarette. Monday morning I woke up terrified, yet hopeful. I spent the day in front of the computer playing game after game of spider solitaire, all the while watching episode after episode of the Star Trek series Enterprise (yeppers, I'm a Trekkie, lol). The kids were ... Uh-Mazing! I mean, frickin' little angels!! Apparently God wanted us to succeed cuz he replaced my kids with perfect acting copies for the day, lol!!

Anyhoo -- here's my little entries on that first day, and then down below is the photo of my personal stop smoking "medicine", lol)

I can't believe I'm actually doing this!! I mean... I'm definitely not out of the woods yet, but I'm getting there! It's 1:34pm, and the last time I had a cigarette was at 8pm last night. And I didn't even go to bed until around midnight/1am!!

Talking about it is making me feel anxious, but I need to get this down real quick. I'm feeling ... scared more than anything. I never thought I could do this, but I seem to be doing okay :) I know I'll live - but I didn't think I'd enjoy this much, lol... It's the anger and stress and scared feelings that keep tripping me up...

still going strong. Wow - the moment I started writing is the moment I felt anxious again... That kinda sucks - makes me think I won't be able to journal about my experience...

Well, real quick before I get too .... anxious-y ... I'm getting excited! I mean - like crazy happy excited. I keep thinking - that's it?! I've been through a bad night like that before! You mean to tell me the next day would have been this easy?! Is it this easy for everyone... that it's the first night that really sucks, and if you can just keep the mental cravings in check, that you'll be fine....

I keep getting this butterflies in my tummy feeling... It sometimes runs through my whole body. It seems to turn into either a strong anxious feeling that leaves me feeling ... restless and icky... It sometimes comes across as giddy excitement, making me wanna dance around or run or do anything to expel the energy burst... and then there's variations of that. Will it leave me scared or filled with energy? I'm never too sure, but I've come to realize that my mind has much control over these anxious feelings running through me and a deep breath and a new game of spider solitare usually helps :)

I'm not 100% sure when I had my last cigarette, but I know it was around 8pm last night. So I'm saying it is now official - I've been smoke free for 24hrs. The kids (my biggest stresser) are now in bed, and I'm tired. I feel great, excited and so proud!! I should be tired soon, and hopefully I'll be asleep earlier than normal, and I'll be well onto my way to 48hrs smoke free!! :D

Still doing good. Not one cigarette!! I'm yawning like crazy, and I can't seem to win one hand of spider solitaire, so I guess I should head to bed. Tom is doing good too. He seems a tad more ... disrupted by quitting. I worry he won't make it. I hope that we can continue to help each other. He's the reason why I stuck with it last night when I thought I would explode with anger. I still can't figure out exactly what he did (and he can't remember either) but he helped that's for sure. Here's to a great 2nd day!! :)

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