Welcome to my blog! I love taking photos - and I love sharing said photos!
So sit back and enjoy a small glimpse into the life of me! :D

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Day 53 -- Yummy Medicine

Liam is a character, that's for sure :) You'll expect one thing - and he'll do the other, lol. The medicine he has to take for his strep is the good stuff - the pink, bubblegum stuff :) And the way he takes it cracks me up every time. So much so that I had to get photos of it :)

It's starts out normal. I hand it to him, and he carefully holds it with both hands. But you can see the anticipation and excitement, in that he's a little jerky - ready to drink it down (hurry up mom! that's what his body language says, lol). I only help him a little - making sure it hits the intended target (ie: his mouth instead of his cheek or chin) and then let him go to town. In a couple gulps, the medicine is gone. But wait! It's not gone. And that's when the fun starts, as he puts his head back further, and further... and further still, trying to drink every last, teeny-tiny drop. His back becomes arched, and I swear he's about to do a back walk over (think gymnastics, lol). Just when you think he's gonna fall backwards onto his head, he stands up, quite satisfied that he's gotten all the medicine he can :)

Day 52 -- Visiting Momo

We went to visit Momo in the hospital today. No, there wasn't a relapse or anything bad like that. She had a bed sore that got crazy infected, and she had to go back to get that taken care of (I'm refraining from telling any of the specifics cuz it's kinda gross to think about, let alone type about, lol). So, hopefully she won't have to stay there too long!!

That's today's photo. Momo had just finished her shower, so our timing was perfect. Liam was pretty intimidated by all the machines and stuff and he wouldn't really sit long. So that left more time for Connor and Momo to chill :) Soon it was dinner time, and time to change some bandages (or tubes, or something - I'm not sure what) so we headed home. I'm really glad this hospital visit went the way most should - with smiles and hugs :)

Thank you to everyone that prayed -- my kiddos still have a grandma, and I couldn't be happier!

Day 51 -- Born To Fly

I'm so very amazed at just how cruel and mean the female gender can be to one another. Don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of harsh venting and girl bashing - but this was usually done with my hubby in order to air out my feelings & emotions, and therefore never bring them up to the girl or girls in question....

I witnessed a sad ... "Fight" today. I use the term fight because I'm not sure what else to call it, but it really wasn't a fight so much as a .... I'm tired of being near you and I'm now pissed at anything and everything that you do. No details are necessary cuz I'm not one to gossip. But should either of my friends involved in today's fun little excessive of how not to fix a female problem (One hubby tried to fix it, but I personally think he only made it worse. That's my opinion anyways)... Anyhoo, should either of you be reading this, know that I'm not judging in the least...I'm not on either one's side. I'd like to stay neutral if at all possible. Do I have an opinion - of course I do. Am I gonna share? Nope :)

I just think it's sad that such fights can happen. We're supposed to be friends, but I swear the anger and hatred is stronger than ever... Maybe it's true that strong love will equal strong hate... I do know that no matter what - drama sucks ass, and that is what I hate more than anything. Ugh!! What a horrid day!

But aside from that, it's all going pretty well. Still no tax returns - and therefore no internet yet :( But, as evident by my typing this, I'm still chuggin' along with my P365. Today's photo is of Connor being my favorite kind of dork -- the one that will give me 50 different poses while I'm snapping away on my camera :D Can't really blame the kid - he's had a camera shoved in his poor face from almost moment one :D

But here was one of my faves. Not sure why - but it's just a fun pic :) See you soon!! XoXo! :D

PS -- Still no tax returns :( I was so hoping to have my internet back this weekend!! Our friend insists that the IRS always pays on a Friday (for direct deposit), and that we'll probably get them next Friday. *sigh* I really, REALLY hope he's wrong!!

Day 50 -- Big Boy Moment

A few months ago, I had started working with Connor on his shoe tying skills. He was actually doing good - getting an "almost knot" after only a couple tries. Then I found some nifty Doc Martins in his "too big for now" box and gave those to him to start to wear. The downside? They were velcro. The upside: It was awesome for me - a HUGE time saver. But it did take away from his shoe tying practice.

Well, those Doc Martins were crap (the dang sole just kinda ... came off! WTH!?) and we had to go back to his tennis shoes. All that work - all that progress - was gone. He couldn't even remember how to tie that first part - let alone make a loop and do all that other stuff.

Eventually I found the patience to start to teach him again. Luckily, he remembered a lot of it and started tying like a pro (ish) in no time! And today, with absolutely zero help from me, he did this:

YAY!!! Look at my Connor Bug go!! :) It's a little crooked, and a little loose (and wouldn't stay tied longer than a few minutes, lol) but I'm just stoked that he did it all on his own - from beginning to end :D

OH - and bad news (I hate bad news!!) Our tax returns haven't come yet. Not sure why... other than there was a holiday this last Monday - so maybe that messed things up. I'm praying we get them tomorrow!!

Day 49 -- Sick Baby

Well, we had some sickness go through the house. It started with Connor getting strep back at the end of January. It then passed to Tom, who (unfortunately) had it while we were moving. Then Connor is sick again with a raging ear infection which the doctor credited to extra draining from his strep throat, and his ear just couldn't handle the over flow (or something like that - it's kinda fuzzy to my understanding, and I may have totally misunderstood her explanation, lol).

In all this time, Liam & I have been safe (thank goodness!). I have been worried about Liam though because he's still not a chatter box. His words can be hard to understand, and I'm not sure if he'll understand to tell me what hurts. Yesterday he seemed blah and lethargic. So, I didn't hesitate and used it as an excuse to go see the doctor today (I've been wanting to take him in simply to have him tested, just to help the paranoid mommy in me rest easier).

Today's photo is Liam getting his little arm squeezed for a blood pressure test. I know he looks cruddy in that photo, but trust me - he was acting completely fine! The darkness under his eyes is a Liam trait - he's had that all his life. And the expression is him being all weird cuz of the tests and touching from a strange lady :) But, seriously, he was acting like his normal, hyper, happy, pissy self since he'd gotten up. But I was determined to use yesterday's lack of action as my excuse to get him tested.

The doc checked his body and didn't find any sign of anything. But agreed, just to be safe, to have him tested. We went to the lab and had a quick test ran - and within minutes, it was confirmed: Liam had strep throat as well!

That's totally two for two - that I felt like something was wrong, and it was (this and Connor's ear infection from THIS post.) Normally I'm just the paranoid mom that wasted a trip to the doc's office cuz I read too much into my kids actions and there's nothing wrong :)

I'm just happy that I caught the strep early with Liam so that he didn't have to suffer much. And with Connor still taking his ear infection medicine, I'm sure he won't catch strep back from Liam. I just hope Tom and I can stay clear of it so that we can finally get it completely out of our family :)

Monday, March 22, 2010

Day 48 -- Munch, Munch

One day closer to tax returns day!! Oh I SO hope that they come on Friday!! It's been months since things were even close to comfortable. I'm so ready to splurge -- even if only the tiniest bit!!!

Today's photo is of Liam and his ability to break almost anything :) Remember THIS entry. Yeah, those awesome little puzzle pieces were thrown away recently because he found something more fun to do with them rather than make triangles. He decided to bite off every little piece sticking out.

Here he is finishing the job on one of the last of those puzzle pieces :) Can't have anything nice around here, can we *sigh* :D See you soon!! XoXO! :D

Day 47 -- Off To Freddy's We Go!

Our trips to the store usually end up being a pretty sucky experience. It always starts out great. Heck, just getting out of the house almost makes any stress worth it. We get to the store, and the mood is still good. But Liam won't stay close, and Connor is off in his own little world, walking away from us cuz he doesn't realized we turned. Grab a cart, stick Liam in it so he can't wander away. He starts whining because he's technically too big for carts now, and the seat pinches the bottom of his legs. Frustration sets in and soon we're rushing to just finish so we can finally head home...

Not so the case at Freddy's (the nickname for a local store called Fred Meyer). They have these awesome car-carts that I just LOVE. I've seen some similar at other stores, but the seats are weird in those ones. This one actually has them in there, and they can't get out without our help (so no getting down and running off, or falling off of it for that matter).

So how did this trip to the store go? It went wonderful!! Thanks for asking :D

Day 46 -- Muh-Skulls

Another slow day followed by a relaxing evening. Connor didn't have school today, so that helped him so that his ear could heal more before going back to his usual routine :) And as the day neared its end, and the kiddos were getting ready to go to bed, I remembered I had no photo for the day (seems to be a common occurrence lately, lol.)

I told Connor to show me his muscles (we like to be silly and pronounce them "muh-skulls" lol). I gave him some flexing pointers and came out with today's photo :)

Day 45 -- Urgent Clinic Trip

Happy Valentine's Day!! :) It was an interesting one for me. Connor was complaining of an ear ache early this morning around 4am, and it was still hurting when he got up. I really didn't wanna wait until normal business hours to take him, so I headed to the urgent clinic. His ear was actually really bad. The doctor kept looking at it, this way and that - and was asking about tubes in his ears and all that.

So, finally an ear ache that resulted in an actual ear infection :) Not good for Connor - but good in that it wasn't a trip wasted, and good that I didn't get one of those doctor looks that says I'm a paranoid mom -- I've had too many of those in the last couple months, lol :)

The registration nurse gave him a bracelet thing for check-in, and it was ... well, exciting is the only word I can think of. It was exciting for him. I think he enjoyed the special treatment and extra attention. So that's what today's photo is of :)

Day 44 -- Posers :)

I'm a huge fan of professional photos. I have a fave place in the mall called Flash - they take some of the best photos I've ever seen (aside from an individual photographer. I'm talking studio type place). It's always killed me that the only professional photos I have of Liam was when he was born. That's mainly because once he started moving, he was very insistent that he didn't like people.

I take that back about pro pics - my mom did try to get one for me for Christmas when Liam was 11mo old... Oh man - that photo is horrible, lol. And if I can ever find it, I'll be sure to scan it and prove just how bad it was :)

The point to that little bit of history is this: Liam finally poses! He'll hold still, look at me, say cheese and wait for the photo to be taken!! That's hugely monumental! LOL. Now the trick - will he do it for a professional photographer? :) Let's just say that when we get tax returns, I'll be finding out!!

Day 43 -- Holding Hands

You know how it goes between kids - they don't always get along. Nothing could be more true for my two. They used to do fine when Liam was itty-bitty. But the onset of terrible twos has really been cause for drama in our house hold. There are times that Liam throws a tissy fit because Connor just looked at him. And don't get me started on the touching, lol...

So it melts my heart a little when I see a moment like this:

No, that's not normal. No, I didn't ask either of them to do that. In fact, Liam used to flip out whenever Connor tried to take his hand for any reason :) That's all for today! See you soon! XOXO!

Day 42 -- Friendly Home Invasion

My favorite radio station had their annual CCA (Children's Cancer Association) fundraiser today. 28hrs straight, they're doing whatever they can raise money for our area. I doubt I'll ever leave the area, because we have some of the best children's hospitals around - and I swear, we have the best caring people as well... To hear the funny guys from the morning show talking with tears in their voice as another guest tells their story... It really grabs your heart and makes you so thankful for all the good things in your life. I am so grateful for the healthy children that I have - and I pray that they continue to stay healthy in the years to come :)

Well, it's Thursday again, and we still don't have TV - so that means it was another day that we had to invade our friend's home so we could watch Supernatural :) Seriously - Dameon & Kaci: Should you happen to be reading this, thank you SO much for letting us disrupt your normal, daily schedule :)

While we were there, Liam found himself in Jaiden's play pen (that is fill with those balls that you find in a ball pen at McDonalds). Liam actually figured out how to use the window next to the play pen to climb in & out all on his own :)

Today's photo was a cute pic I grabbed of him playing in there :)

Supernatural rocked by the way!! Gah, I love that show!! :D See you soon! XOXO!

Day 41 -- Silly Brothers

Happy Hump Day everyone! Yep - still writing like I'm actually talking with people, lol. Feels kinda silly seeing as how I'm typing into a document and my stupid internet icon on my computer has those hated red X's indicating it's not connected. Well, that won't be the case for much longer. Tax returns have been sent off, and we should be getting our returns any time now. They say to expect them on the 19th, but you never know - maybe they'll come early :)

Today's photo was a quick snap shot I grabbed right before the boys went to bed. I realized that I hadn't taken a photo today, so when I saw them being all cute and brotherly in Daddy's chair, I knew what my photo for the day would be :)

See you soon!! XOXO! :D

Day 40 -- Chasing Sun Beams

Well, I'm feeling a little better today. It's been an internal battle, that's for sure... I just hope the worst of this is all behind me. I decided to try and call one of those quit smoking lines and see if they had any advice for depression. Not having any medical means I can't just chat with my doctor. And I haven't a clue how I could get any kind of help. The medicine is easily affordable, I just don't have a doctor in my back pocket to help write up a prescription... Well, the quit line didn't help. It did feel good to talk to someone about how I'm doing and all that, but they didn't really have any advice for me... They talked about a support system, and I realized I didn't really have that like a lot of people who quit smoking have (not the way I need it anyways)... I know if I could go online right now - I know of a couple friends that I could vent to, or get a virtual high five from for quitting... Oh well, no use in dwelling when all that will do is make me feel bummed again.

My photo today was a moment that made my heart glow. I found the kiddos in the kitchen, chasing the dust that was floating in the ray of sun coming through the door window. Eventually they started spitting into it to see the mist of their spit (yum! lol) so I made them stop. But I did get some cute photos :) It helps - seeing the every day good things. It helps me from feeling so blah :)

Day 39 -- Juggling

I still feel like crud today :( All sorts of sad and depressed. This is getting fricking annoying. And having a husband that just doesn't get it (and tends to get fed up and angry with any sign of tears) yeah... that usually makes matter a hundred times worse. Any advice what to tell the husband so that he can deal instead of making the situation worse?!

I had a moment where I was happy - took a couple pics of the kids playing outside with dad... My happiness didn't last long as I tried to comment on the house - and Tom took it the wrong way (I guess he thought I was bitching about the house being small, when really I just wanted to commiserate about the fact that it looked like the closets in the kids' rooms were actually added at a later date - commenting on the 'are-you-effing-kidding-me' factor). Well, he was confused (I guess) and I was annoyed. Eventually I was bummed again and came back inside to drone away on a game on my computer... I swear smoking helped me... I wouldn't have said that a week ago, but I don't know what to make of me and my emotions and all that now.....

So here's that photo I took -- Tom was juggling some of the golf balls we found in our yard (and that is weird in and of itself - we're no where near a golf course, lol).

Day 38 -- Hatin' The Blahs!

Today... I felt sad ALL day long (not much of an improvement from yesterday). If you were to ask me, I wouldn't have been able to really pin point WHY... I just felt like my dog had died or something. But instead of one thing that my sadness came from, it felt like it was everything that the sadness came from... I can only assume it's my "wonderful" companion -- Depression. I really wish that bastard would leave me the hell alone... *sigh*

To top it all off, we missed the super bowl. We went to my inlaws - but they don't watch football, so they were out. We headed to our friends (who we had told earlier that we'd probably be by). Well, we showed up just in time to see them all getting ready to leave. WTF!? We even tried WalMart - but since TV is all digital - they didn't have any TV on. They just had their promo dvd thing... :(

Yep, I feel a little better than I did this morning, but not by much... Fingers crossed that I sleep better tonight and have a better day tomorrow!!

Today's photo is just a quick snap shot of Connor after he got out of his shower. He pretty much does it all on his own now. What a big boy he's becoming... I can still remember the first time I held him... :)

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Day 37 -- Mowin' The Lawn

Today was ... kinda crappy. I just felt sad, and couldn't get myself out of it. And Tom didn't help with his talk of living here longer then we had to. We ended up having a pretty huge fight -- leaving me yearning for a cigarette and no way to get rid of the left over emotions. Tom seemed fine - but I sure as hell wasn't... ugh - men really suck!!

Moving on from the crappy --- Tom mowed our yard today! I thought that was kinda neat. I may not wanna call this place "home" for long, but it's kinda fun to see the homey things taking place :) And the kids thought it was pretty neat too! That's Liam in the photo, watching Daddy go back and forth :)

Day 36 -- Dirty Faces

Having a backyard now means I finally get to tell my kids to get dressed and go outside and play. And that has been the case for every day so far that we've had nice weather (or nice enough). Today I let the kiddos go out again. It was cloudy and a little chilly, but it wasn't raining so I let them go. It didn't take long for Liam to find the dirt :) They did have a blast though - and that's all that counts!

And trust me, that wasn't the only photo I took. Here - let me prove it :)

There were SO MANY MORE photos, but I just picked out some of my faves so that I didn't show you all 65 (yes, I tend to snap, snap, snap when taking pics. Thank goodness for digital!!) That's all for today! See you soon! :D

Day 35 -- Good Night, Sleep Tight

Today I had virtually no energy to do anything... Or desire for that matter, lol. Luckily, Tom let me sleep in as well as take a nap. Thank goodness, cuz I needed that :)

Nothing productive really happened today. The house is still a small place fastly filling up with boxes of things that have no place .... Yeah, I'm still feeling like I made a mistake when I excitedly applied to live here....

We went to our friend's house tonight to watch Supernatural. I was SO happy to learn that Dameon & Kaci quit smoking as well a few days ago!! I can't believe it - it seems like our close group of friends may very well ALL quit smoking within a couple weeks of each other... And it seems like me & Tom started it all. We all talked about WANTING to quit... but no one had ever really even tried it... So yay!!

I was also finally able to talk to Tom about my misgivings over our new home... I think one thing that constantly figures into it all is the face that there's no place for a kitchen table!! Our plans to start having dinner like a normal family - everyone around the table -- that will never ever be possible here. So Tom (without sounding... mean or anything) agreed with me that we can at least look when we get the internet back. And if I find something, then our tax returns will enable us to move again. And we'd only be out the 300$ security deposit to this place... I pray to God that I can find something better than this!!!!!

Today's photo is about our new night time routine. I used to give kisses and send the kids upstairs with daddy. Now we trade off - me starting out with Connor, and Daddy with Liam. Then we switch. Then Daddy sings his normal night time songs, and that's it :) What is new you ask? Why - it's Liam's bed. That's right, he's in a toddler bed new (we waited to switch him from his crib this late because we knew we were moving. So we did the move to a new house and the move into a new bed all at once - made sense to shock the system in full, not in stages, lol).

How is he doing? Well - this is night three, so hopefully he'll be better than the last two night (though I'm not holding my breath). So far, it's 100% guarantee that he'll get up at least twice in the middle of the night. He'll shuffle his way to our room. Then either I or Tom (we take turns) will pick him up, cuddling him close, and take him back to bed. And bless him - he'll go right back to sleep (almost like a sleep walking episode, only he's awake - though maybe not really aware, lol). So I keep hoping that tonight is the night that he'll sleep through a 100%. Wish us luck :)

That's all for tonight! See you soon I hope! XOXO :D

Day 34 -- Belated Birthday

Well, we finally got all our stuff out of our old apartment. Well, most of it anyways. There was still some garbage (mostly papers & boxes and other burnable stuff that I just never had time to burn). Hopefully we won't be charged too much. I hated leaving anything there - I felt like we were breaking the law or something, lol. We also left our broken car there since we have no way to tow it to our new place right now. I'm praying they just won't realize our car is there in the extra parking lot - that they'll just think it's someone else's and not double check :)

I usually love moving, but it's been 5yrs since we moved. I think we tripled our stuff (ugh!). And my body has aged five whole years - it doesn't work as well as it used to, lol. I hurt so bad! I can't wait to hit the hay tonight :D

So today's photo is long over due - not the photo itself, but what the photo is of. Liam's birthday was really sad (thank goodness he has no idea he was jipped this year). We finally were able to get to my parent's house and let him open his presents from them. He had a blast! He got a bunch of cars (as always - a huge hit with him, lol). He got some clothes, a ball, and a few other things. Leave it to my mom to always to amazing for birthdays!! YAY :)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Day 33 -- Pizza and a Movie

Today was ... well, kinda blah compared to the last few days. I've been getting up as soon as I could, and working way past the point where my body was done. So when we do virtually nothing for an entire day, it tends to feel weird, lol. Especially with a truck still half full, an old apartment that has items still in it, a car that needs towed since it's broken, and at least one more dump run to finish it all up.. Oh and of course, needing to finish moving in - trying to figure out how to fit way too much stuff into a way too small house....

But the day ended kinda nice. After Tom finally finished at the VA hospital (where he learned he had a raging case of strep) we went to the store and got dinner and some other important foods (ones that take no dishes to prepare in/on and take no plates to eat it on, lol). Then we had pizza on the floor as a family, watching Monsters vs Aliens on my computer :) Not a bad day after all I guess :)

That's all for today! I really love when life ends on a happy, contented note like this! See You Soon!! XOXO :D

Day 32 -- My Finger Tips Hurt!!

Here I lay on an old (un-needed) crib mattress in the middle of my new living room, typing on a computer laid out carefully across the floor - my temporary desk until we can get my real one here :) And also what I decided to use as today's photo :)

Today was another long day - but this one had a much better ending than many of the previous. This one ended with us at our new home. I have my reservations about this place, but I think, in the long run, I'll come to love it :)

My god, I don't think I could hurt anymore or swell in any other place... So, since my finger tips are killing me, lol - I'm cutting this short! See you soon :)

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Day 31 -- Saying Goodbye

On the 23rd of this month, 5 years ago, we moved into this place. Connor was a day shy of his 2mo birthday. I remember when we found this place. The manager - a crusty, old man - showed us around. As we headed up the stairs, I had one of many contractions, causing the manager to halt in alarm, lol. That's right, I was in labor. The hospital had sent me home since I wasn't barely dialated, so instead of sitting and doing nothing, we decided to continue in our hunt for a new home (we were currently living in a 1BR and wanted more than one room).

I assured the manager that I would be fine, that they weren't too serious yet and we continued looking... I remember just loving the place. I mean - it was beyond perfect. Better than anything I could imagine! And the even better part? Assuming we'd be approved to rent, he said he could hold the unit for us for two months until our lease ran out at the other place! And he'd do that - no charge!! :)

I filled the application out at the hospital - because the very next day I was admitted and gave birth to my first child: Connor :)

This place that I loved from the start ... it was our home for 5 years... Our children learned to walk and talk here. I've got so many memories. And my photo today is one of those memories -- Connor's growth chart :) I started it when he was 4mo old. I carefully stood him there and marked a spot on the wall - and faithfully continued from then on. Every month for that first year. Every other month his 2nd year. And then around 3-4mo after that. Unfortunately, I was not as diligent with Liam. I was more about scrapbooking and photographing him... so I guess that will have to do :)

Anyhoo -- Yay for making it through the first month with my P365!! Only 11 more months to go, lol :) See you soon!! XOXO! :D

Day 30 -- Moving Still....

Today was awesome!! We found out this evening that we got the house!! YAY!!! Finally - I now have the mind set that I'm packing up to move somewhere, not just packing and wondering how it will all work out! :) Yeah - we totally cut it close, lol... Quick tip: Don't do what we did, lol.... I'm still not sure how we could have done this all any different ...... other than just NOT doing it... But not doing it is what we've been doing with each lease renewal... And we always decide to renew the lease instead of try to move. So yeah, I'm just stoked to be out of this place!!

Today's photo is just a quick snap of the work in progress. The half empty house really tweaks the kids, lol. They're not quite sure what to think of it all. :) So, I'm tired and need some sleep!! See you soon! XOXO! :D

Day 29 -- Moving, Moving, I'm So Sick Of Moving!

Today was ... well, I'll know soon whether today was a wonderful day or not :) It started out kind of weird - I woke up around 8am and voluntarily got up before everyone else. I'm the kind of late night insomniac that would snooze till the afternoon if I could, lol. I really miss those days :D

Anyhoo - I have to say that the morning kind of sucked. I felt like I was on the verge of a panic/anxiety attack all morning. My heart was racing, but not actually pumping fast. I felt like I was about to lose my breath - but I wasn't breathing fast at all... Like I was just about to freak out - but never actually did (thank goodness). I'm actually getting a little panicy just thinking about it ...... But I just kept busy - packing - to help keep my mind off of it. I put my jittery energy to good use :)

So we got a bunch more stuff moved... It looks really pathetic in the truck... Like we did nothing, lol. But I remember carrying it all - and I see the holes here in the house - so I know we did good... Those trucks are deceptively small, lol. They seem narrow and tiny, but dang - you can really cram stuff in there (and I'm a master at Tetris!!) :D

So then tonight was the (hopefully) awesome part!! We met up with Jessica at the rental house (She's the main person we've dealt with so far. Not sure what her hubby's name is). Let's see... The house is a tiny thing - I swear, each prospective house gets a little smaller than the last. But when it's the 29th, and you're due out on midnight of the 31st -- size really becomes a lesser issue, lol. BUT! In place of it's size - we are compensated by a HUUUGGGEEE yard! Like a holy crap, are you kidding me kind of yard!! :D

So - of all the places we've EVER looked at and/or applied for -- I've never felt this confident about a place before. I swear they wanted to say yes right there, but needed to go through the normal channels. I know it has to do with a middle school being close by - the background check just makes sure we're not pervs or anything :)

Anyhoo -- I'm way excited about everything!! It will be AWESOME if I can pack tomorrow like we have a house and not like we'll need to live out of the truck for the next couple weeks.... Fingers crossed!!!!! :D

I didn't get a chance to take any photos while looking at the house. I was busy filling out the application. Today's photo came from the endless moving we've been doing. The front door tends to stay open, and the kids like to sneak out on the front porch (which is usually a no-no). So, I grabbed this photo and LOVE how it turned out :) Those are my boogers... Makes my heart swell... Okay enough mushy! That's all for today! See you soon! XOXO

Day 28 -- Baby Jail's Rock! :)

Another Thursday means another new episode of Supernatural!! Oh yeah, I'm completely obsessed!! I love me some Dean Winchester! LOL :) So, since we are without cable (and bunny ears just won't cut it anymore - grrr) we are forced to invade our friend's house for the evening so we can stay caught up with the show (Thanks Kaci, Dameon, Kevin & Krisstin!! Y'all have been our life savers quite a bit over the last month!) :D

Anyhoo -- going there means one thing for Liam: Baby jail time! LOL. Kaci & Dameon have their living room blocked off by some impressive gating, and that drives Liam batty! He has always freaked whenever he gets locked in anywhere. Even with a HUGE living room to move around in, massive amounts of new toys to play with, and his buddy Jaiden to get hit by, lol ... Yeah, none of that matters. Even when I'm in there with him, it takes a few minutes for him to calm down. And if I even attempt to leave for any reason, we get to start the calm down process all over again. *sigh*

So today's photo is of him in his baby jail area - me in there with him. He was doing his best to get out (which will happen eventually - he's a determined monkey, lol).

UGH! I just noticed!! That booger had my coffee cup! He's such a stinker, lol. Well, see ya soon!! XOXO! :D

Day 27 -- Ashy Hands :)

Let's see... Today Connor had a doctor appointment (I decided to take him in cuz that small fever from THIS post just wouldn't stay away), and they found out he had strep throat. So thank goodness we got him in to be seen. They gave him some medicine, and by the end of the day, he seemed MUCH improved!!

I got a lot more done today with packing - lots and lots of laundry was cleaned (almost all of it - my god, the amount is ridiculously huge!). I also got a bunch more boxes packed. AND Tom brought home the truck tonight, so tomorrow (once he gets a dolly) we'll be able to start loading it all up.

Still NO clue where we'll live, but hey -- no use in dwelling on the sh**ty, eh? :D

Today's photo comes from Liam and his ability to always shock me, lol. I was taking a break from packing, fighting the small (yes - it's only small! YAY) urge to smoke by watching some more Star Trek. And I see Liam crawling over stuff in front of the fire place. I told him to get out. Told him that it was uckies :) Well, when he came over, I was finally able to get a good look at him....

Yeah - I was too late in my warning to him, lol :)

That's my boy!! LOL :) And that's all for today!! Hope to see y'all soon!! XOXO :D

PS: House Update - The owners of the house that my mom found got a hold of us today. They live a little ways out of town, so they won't be able to show us the place till the weekend (talk about cutting things close, lol). So we'll see how it all goes!! :) Fingers crossed!!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Day 26 -- Liam Turns Two!

Hey non smokers! I guess I am now in that group!! I've had my limits tested by the kiddos today, but I'm doing pretty decent I think. The day went by at a more normal feeling pace (yesterday it just drug by. It was SO slow - it felt murky and thick) ... Today, whenever I encountered an emotional moment, I allowed myself to feel that anger, and was pleased to see that it passed eventually without consuming me (like it used to -- thus making me NEED a cigarette). And more times than not, I just steered any anger and/or frustration to sad feelings, allowing my angst to come out with tears (no matter how pointless the tears may have been, I felt like it was good to let them out so that my brain could work through the emotions).

Today was also Liam's 2nd birthday. Kinda sad when you don't even realize that the 26th is already here. We didn't do a damn thing really for his birthday :( ... With no money, and little time left for packing (not to mention the over all stress of everything) we really didn't know what we could do right now to celebrate, so we decided to just do something soon when we have the time and money to do it (hopefully that's sooner rather than later).

But, much to my surprise, our families had their own ideas. We got a present in the mail from Uncle Jeremy & Aunt Brenda. It was a monster truck. And then Momo & Popo had a few cars for him as well (you'd think he likes cars or something, lol).

And a quick note - my MIL is doing wonderful! So good in fact that she was released today and sent home. Those presents that they got for Liam? Yeah, she & Popo gave them to Liam from their home, in person!! And they even had some cupcakes for everyone!! Which is my photo for today :)

See you soon!! XOXO!! :D

PS: House Update -- Still no prospects...yet! My mama found a little place and gave us the info. Tom drove by it and gave the owners a call. So finger's crossed that they get a hold of us... that they like us... that they say yes... that they don't require the deposit before we move it... Oh - and that they do all that within the next few days!! Here's hoping!!! :D

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Day 25 -- Day One As A Non-Smoker!! :)

Below is a little journal I did on the first day after I quit smoking. That's right!! You read correctly!


Sometime around 8pm, Sunday night (Jan 24th), I had my last cigarette. Monday morning I woke up terrified, yet hopeful. I spent the day in front of the computer playing game after game of spider solitaire, all the while watching episode after episode of the Star Trek series Enterprise (yeppers, I'm a Trekkie, lol). The kids were ... Uh-Mazing! I mean, frickin' little angels!! Apparently God wanted us to succeed cuz he replaced my kids with perfect acting copies for the day, lol!!

Anyhoo -- here's my little entries on that first day, and then down below is the photo of my personal stop smoking "medicine", lol)

I can't believe I'm actually doing this!! I mean... I'm definitely not out of the woods yet, but I'm getting there! It's 1:34pm, and the last time I had a cigarette was at 8pm last night. And I didn't even go to bed until around midnight/1am!!

Talking about it is making me feel anxious, but I need to get this down real quick. I'm feeling ... scared more than anything. I never thought I could do this, but I seem to be doing okay :) I know I'll live - but I didn't think I'd enjoy this much, lol... It's the anger and stress and scared feelings that keep tripping me up...

still going strong. Wow - the moment I started writing is the moment I felt anxious again... That kinda sucks - makes me think I won't be able to journal about my experience...

Well, real quick before I get too .... anxious-y ... I'm getting excited! I mean - like crazy happy excited. I keep thinking - that's it?! I've been through a bad night like that before! You mean to tell me the next day would have been this easy?! Is it this easy for everyone... that it's the first night that really sucks, and if you can just keep the mental cravings in check, that you'll be fine....

I keep getting this butterflies in my tummy feeling... It sometimes runs through my whole body. It seems to turn into either a strong anxious feeling that leaves me feeling ... restless and icky... It sometimes comes across as giddy excitement, making me wanna dance around or run or do anything to expel the energy burst... and then there's variations of that. Will it leave me scared or filled with energy? I'm never too sure, but I've come to realize that my mind has much control over these anxious feelings running through me and a deep breath and a new game of spider solitare usually helps :)

I'm not 100% sure when I had my last cigarette, but I know it was around 8pm last night. So I'm saying it is now official - I've been smoke free for 24hrs. The kids (my biggest stresser) are now in bed, and I'm tired. I feel great, excited and so proud!! I should be tired soon, and hopefully I'll be asleep earlier than normal, and I'll be well onto my way to 48hrs smoke free!! :D

Still doing good. Not one cigarette!! I'm yawning like crazy, and I can't seem to win one hand of spider solitaire, so I guess I should head to bed. Tom is doing good too. He seems a tad more ... disrupted by quitting. I worry he won't make it. I hope that we can continue to help each other. He's the reason why I stuck with it last night when I thought I would explode with anger. I still can't figure out exactly what he did (and he can't remember either) but he helped that's for sure. Here's to a great 2nd day!! :)

Day 24 -- Peaceful Quiet, if only for a moment :)

We finally got to let the kids visit Momo today!! She looked really REALLY good, all things considered. They moved her up to the 6th floor, and they have told her that - if all things go well - she could easily be home by this Wednesday!! The kids loved seeing her! Liam kept loving up on here and even shared her custard with her, lol.

We also hung out with our friends again. Tom had a couple job offers he had found that needed a resume emailed to them, so he did that. I think he said he applied to 6 different places today. So hopefully one of those (or all - hey, let's think positive, right? lol) get a hold of him (sooner rather than later).

Today's photo is one of my most favorite things -- kids sleeping :D HAHA - a peaceful break from all the screaming and fighting is always a plus :) We've been so busy the last couple days that poor Liam hasn't had a normal day in a few days now. No naps, later than normal bed times... Yeah - he tends to crash on the way home :)

So that's all for today! See you soon!! XOXO!! :D

On a side note - not sure if it will amount to anything, but Connor has been acting odd. Kinda just blah -- not his usual annoying self. He's been off for a few days, but I can't tell if he's sick or just being moody. Tonight he had a slight fever (around 100) so we'll see how it goes. If he's still sick in the morning - he won't have school :(

Day 23 -- Happy 6th Birthday Devan!!

After escaping to our friend's house last night, I remembered that today we were heading back to celebrate Devan's 6th birthday. I sure hope they don't get tired of seeing our faces around there, lol.

So, today was another escape day for us. Connor had a blast playing with his buddies. I never really had a friend that I could say I've known my whole life. So it's really fun to think that Connor has known them pretty much since he became aware that he was more than a lump in my arms, lol. I can still seeing a wobbling Connor, barely walking, trying to run with Devan and Ray. Down went Connor, and there is Ray & Devan, not slowing down a bit as they run over top of him, lol. They were ~2yrs old or so, so they didn't know better, lol. It always makes me giggle when I think of that day :)

And because I'm all for the pictures, I have more to show from Devan's birthday party. Here's a little collage to satisfy my show off needs :)

Top Left: Devan getting ready to blow out his candles. I missed the blowing one by just a second, but I kinda like that one the way it is.

Top Right: Here we have a "cheesin" photo of Liam - he's getting really good at knowing what to do when I whip out the camera :)

Middle Left: Connor and Ray huggin' it out -- I love those kind of photos.

Middle Right: Devan being silly with his hair. Not really sure what he was doing, but I think he looks stunning! LOL :)

Bottom Left: Liam sneaking more bites from Daddy's cake.

Bottom Right: I grabbed a quick pic of Jaiden munchin' on some olives (there's one on his finger - which is what I was actually trying to photograph)

Okay -- enough for today's post!! I'll see y'all soon!!! XOXO :)

Day 22 -- Escaping Towards Laughter

What better medicine for depression than the laughter of a child - your own child in fact :) Tonight, we decided to escape life by visiting our friend's house. While there, Liam decided to become a total camera ham. Me and Kaci were both sitting on the kitchen floor, each with a camera in our hand, laughing and taking photo after photo of Liam :) Coda joined, causing Liam to shriek with giddiness, lol. That's this photo - Coda peeking up, making Liam "hide" and laugh :D

It's so great when a family has a way to escape :) See you soon!! XOXO!!

Day 21 -- Still A Little Blah :(

Things still feel hopeless right now... I feel a little better today, but not much. I am a hell of a lot more hopeful than I was last night - dang, depression can suck, lol. It kinda sucked to watch what little money we had left go to buying Tom a new phone. I was SO annoyed that they wouldn't just transfer his number to my phone. They wanted to charge 60 bucks for that!! So spending 20$ on a new phone (and thus getting your old number added to it for free as a silly deal they have) made much more sense....

We did witness an... odd accident before even getting into the WalMart parking lot though. It's pretty much impossible for me to really describe it in words that will paint the right picture.... but a person stuck in the wrong lane - facing on-coming traffic... He turned -- and instead of veering slightly and heading off in the correct lane (and correct direction) of traffic, he... tried to cross four lanes of traffic and head into the entrance for Walmart - completely side swiping a car (rightfully) driving through the intersection... Having a front row seat to the whole thing, we stayed and helped the people and talked to the cops and all that.

Seriously - if you are in the wrong lane or something on the road, use your damn brain and don't cross lanes of traffic that not only have a green light, but can't even see you because you're creeping pass traffic stopped, waiting for you to get out of the way...

Today's photo has to do with the slow emersion from my all consuming depression from last night. I grabbed my camera and didn't really wanna photograph anything still... I looked up, letting my eyes stay unfocused and thought "That's what I should photograph." So I did - the semi-blurry sky scape I saw this afternoon as I tried my best to get out of this funk and get back into life :)

Day 20 -- Depression Sucks :(

My hubby got to see his mom today :) He showed her the video of her grandbabies and that made her smile :) She, in turn, recorded a quick little video (mainly for Connor) where she smiled, waved and said I love you. The doctors are saying she could be going home in a few days!!

We got some pretty crappy news tonight. We've been waiting (very impatiently) to find out if we were going to get this house we'd looked at a few days back. Well, she called tonight and let us know that we unfortunately didn't get it. My hubby asked her if she could tell us why. Learning that the only thing keeping you from your home - the one you plan to teach your children how to ride a bike at, watch them leave for their first date from... It's only because my husband doesn't have employment right now. The fact that he gets a VA check that covers rent - and will get that for the rest of his life. And the fact that he does actually have a job, but that there just isn't any work right now at the moment, but it could pick up at any time... yeah - none of that matters. They went with someone else. Someone lucky enough to have an effing job. And that leaves us, once again with jack s**t ...

And as I write this in a text document for future publishing on my blog... I realize that we aren't just a little screwed. We're royally f**ked! My husband's phone is broken, so we've lost communication. Our internet was shut off this morning, so we can't look for houses for rent. And with next to nothing in the job market worth applying for, I feel as if we've hit rock bottom... But what scares me is, what if this isn't rock bottom. What if we're on the cliff of a deep ravine, and tomorrow we'll step right on in, sinking lower then we've ever feared or imagined... What then.

My photo is of nothing today - the blackness of my hand as I cover the lens. I have absolutely no desire to photograph anything else. What else is there. I'm sinking heavily in my depression right now, and I can't see a way out. Luckily - I know how my mind works. And by this time tomorrow, I'll feel hopeful and reenergized. Too bad I can't feel that way right now. See you soon! XOXO!

Day 19 -- My Little Artist

My MIL is awake!! She's extremely weak, and they're of course monitoring her very closely, but she's awake. She can't really talk - I think they're keeping some sort of tube in her throat for a little longer, but don't quote me on that (sorry - again, my info is handed down from numerous sources until it gets to me). Thank you again for all your prayers! :)

Today's photo comes compliment of Connor. He got this awesome playdough toy for Christmas. It has these little smasher things that flatten out the playdough into shapes. This one is for hamburgers. Connor was quite proud of the burger and fries he made and insisted that I take a picture. So here you go :)

That's it for today!! See you soon!! XOXO! :D

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I'm Back!!!!

Holy crud! Is it really already March!? With the move to a new home, the hospitalization of my MIL, and a few other surprises so far this year, I have to say that time has flown by in a rapid RAPID blink of an eye!!

Starting tomorrow, you're gonna see one post after another as I do my best to catch up. I did great with P365, faithfully taking photos every day. Some days, the idea of taking a photo just disgusted me (you'll understand when those days come up) but I kept at it - even if it was a photo of nothing :) I did up little documents with journaling for a lot of the days as well, so the writing with each photo will coincide with the actual day -- my P365 isn't just about the photos, but also about the little things that are happening each day (I am a chatter box with writing after all, lol. It would seem weird if I didn't write every day) :D

So before I start posting lots of stuff that you may or may not actually read - here's the last 6wks summed up :)

~~ My MIL is doing well!!! She had her heart surgery (where they replaced a damaged valve with a titanium one). She came home and then went back to the hospital because of a HUGE bed sore that had become infected. That was last week, and she's now home again :)

~~ We found a home to live in - and sucessfully moved at the beginning of February. I've had issues with the place (it's much smaller than I originally thought) but I'm becoming resigned to living here (at least for a little while) and I'm finally trying my best to turn this place into a home.

~~ On January 24th (at 8pm -- just cuz I was that crazed at the time, lol - so I remember the time) me and my hubby quit smoking!! Doing it then was more due to lack of $$ ... But sticking with it was cuz it was a goal of ours anyways. We had talked about quitting when we moved, we just ended up doing it a week early :) We have both stayed smoke free! YAY US!! :)

~~ Liam turned 2 on January 26th. And I turned 29 (for reals - not one of those bday things where you say it's your 2nd 29th bday cuz you're in denial about being 30. I'm really 29, lol) Anyhoo -- that was on February 26th... That's it for bdays, lol

~~ My 2010 motto - New Beginnings - is holding strong!! New home to live in. New lifestyle (non-smoker baby, yeah!!!), New ... I'm too tired to think of anything else new, so I'll stop now, lol :)

Get ready for the onslaught of photos tomorrow!! See you soon!! XOXO! :D
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